A Letter to My Printer

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Dear Printer,

I'm sorry, but we must break up. It's not working out. You keep holding out on me, making me change ink cartridges when your settings clearly indicate there's plenty of ink. Seriously! What are you doing with it? Selling it on the Black Ink Market? One thing for sure, you're not using it to print my pages.

Thanks to you, I had to run around town on Tuesday to get work printed for Wednesday's client. AND, I might add, the printing looked so much better than yours. No streaks, no fades, no random lines. You're not even that old, but you're showing your age there! Even after I gave you an extended spa day with new alignment, cartridge cleaning, and advanced cartridge cleaning. You'd think you would feel fresh and new. Ready to tackle any simple print job.

Of course, I got nothing else done that day...this blog post, for example. Did you really expect me to spend all day with you?

Was it something I said? Something I did? I guess I should have known a few weeks ago when you stopped mid-print job and refused to print for two hours. Once you did print, well you've obviously chosen quantity instead of quality, haven't you?

Ever since then, well...you get the picture. Oops. I guess you don't, since YOU. CAN'T. EVEN. PRINT. IT!

No, I won't continue to use the temporary printer I was forced to enlist last minute. I had a coupon. I can't handle their rates on a regular basis. Yes, I know. I get what I paid for, but I paid a reasonable amount of money for you. You're just a printer. How hard can your job be?

Printer, you're fired!



Valerie said…
Hahaha! Here’s hoping you and your next printer are a match made in printer heaven, because you’ve already been in printer hell!

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